A few weeks ago, we received a wonderful blessing. Just like the family in the book Snuggle Wuggle Wee, “we are now four, not three anymore!”
The good news also resulted in an important milestone for our panganay. Yes, at three and a half, she has weaned herself from the breast. Her exact words were:
Nanay, I’m not a baby anymore. I’m Ate. I’m not dede na, I share with baby brother.
The Itay is praying for a boy this time so we are claiming it!
It was one of my proudest mom moments – joyful yet inevitably sad at the same time. I remembered crying my heart out that night. Others may not understand it but letting go of a very special thing such as our breastfeeding relationship is heartbreaking – well, at least for the mom. I think children get over it easier than moms do.
It didn’t happen overnight though. She didn’t decide on it right away. Months ago, we started telling her that when we have another baby, she may need to share dede with the baby. During that time, she agrees to share, but they will have one dede each.
When we finally confirmed that there is indeed a little baby in Nanay’s tummy, she started to decrease her nursing frequency. And whenever she sees that nursing hurts me (because preggy hormones make nipples sore), she would let go and say “Sorry Nanay.” and just hug me tight until she falls asleep. This went on for weeks until she decided for herself that she is ready to become a big sister.
FAQs on nursing beyond the first year
When the little girl turned a year old, people have started to ask these questions. The number of people who ask increased as she turned three. The list has been sitting on my drafts folder for a while now but I haven’t got the time to finish and publish the post until now.
I’ve been asked these questions a lot of times by relatives, friends, and other people we meet. Sometimes, the situation gives me the opportunity to educate them about the benefits of breastfeeding past infancy. I’ll attempt to answer the most frequently asked questions here.
Do you still have milk?
Yes. Breasts produce milk as long as the child nurses.
But your breasts are too small. Do you still have milk?
But is your milk enough?
It’s enough for her needs. After age one, healthy solid food becomes baby’s primary source of nutrition. This, however, does not mean she needs to wean. Breastmilk remains to be a valuable source of nutrition and disease protection. {KellyMom.com}
But you’re too thin!
I’ve always been small and petite. Plus, making milk burns a lot of calories that’s why I quickly shed all the weight I gained during pregnancy. Taking care of an active toddler also keeps me busy.
I eat whenever I have the chance, I promise.
Isn’t it hard to breastfeed a toddler?
On the contrary, it makes our life a whole lot easier.
Breastfeeding is a convenient source of food but there’s so much more to it than nutrition.
When she wakes up in the middle of the night because of a bad dream, we cuddle and nurse back to sleep.
If she’s hurt or feeling down, she comes to me to nurse her ego back to health.
When she got sick a year ago, she lost her appetite for a week. But we weren’t too worried because she nursed round the clock until she felt better.
And the list goes on.
But she’s not as chubby as before. What happened?
Toddlerhood happened.
She’s more active now. Here are just a few of the things she loves doing: singing, dancing, singing while dancing, jumping, chatting, talking to herself, drawing, explaining her drawing, building castles and houses out of blocks, exercising, forcing me to copy her exercise moves, ‘helping’ me with chores, being silly, and making a mess.
Don’t be deceived by her petite frame. She’s an energy ball and a meal (and milk) monster. Her body mass index (BMI) as per WHO standards is normal. Plus a chubby toddler is not necessarily a healthy toddler.
Isn’t she too old for that? When do you plan to stop?
I’m okay with it until she decides to wean.
The World Health Organization emphasizes the importance of nursing up to two years of age or beyond (WHO 1993, WHO 2002).
Breastfeeding past a year is normal, natural, and a blessing to the baby, the mom, the family, the society, and the earth. Read more about its many benefits on these articles:
The human primate data suggest that human children are designed to receive all of the benefits of breast milk and breastfeeding for an absolute minimum of two and a half years, and an apparent upper limit of around 7 years. {Katherine A. Dettwyler, PhD Department of Anthropology Texas A & M University}
It is sad that, because of the aggressive marketing for artificial baby milk, our society has grown accustomed to children drinking from artificial teats and bottles. This has become the new normal that people does not even cringe when they see preschoolers walking about with artificial toddler milk in bottles or sippy cups, but often frowns at the mom who breastfeeds her child who looks old enough to go to school. Do you see what’s wrong in this picture?
Won’t she become too attached? How about teaching her to be independent?
I believe breastfeeding has helped us develop a healthy attachment. Please refer to the first few paragraphs of this post – the one that says she weaned herself so she can share with the little baby. Doesn’t it show independence and maturity at age three?
The child who breastfeeds until he weans himself (usually from 2 to 4 years), is usually more independent, and, perhaps, more importantly, more secure in his independence. He has received comfort and security from the breast, until he is ready to make the step himself to stop. And when a child makes that step himself, he knows he has achieved something, he knows he has moved ahead. It is a milestone in his life of which he is proud. {Jack Newman MD, FRCPC, IBCLC and Edith Kernerman IBCLC, 2008, 2009}
